I hate your face
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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