Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
