Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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