just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize