Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
