you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
