That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
