he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Randomize
