May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
