we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
