Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Randomize
