I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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