Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
