I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
