I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
NoShamevember. You game?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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