let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We don't watch enough power rangers
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
