You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
