i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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