i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
