2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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