fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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