Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
