You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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