Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
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