and you said cock pushups were impossible
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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