i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
