I want to walk on stilts...naked
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
