he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
