Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize