Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
