i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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