bring money and cleavage
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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