don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
