Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
