I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
