worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
two words: eviction party
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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