This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
