I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
