Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
