I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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