Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
