All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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