I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
