now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
