You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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