Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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