Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just had sex on a roof
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
