dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
