Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
