Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
