also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
