I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
