And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
