Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
