I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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