My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize