Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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