So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
ugly people sure do ruin things
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
