I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
